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Bringing Up A Baby – Balancing Discipline And Love

 by: Roy Thomsitt

I think few would disagree that one of the essentials of baby care comes in the form of love. Apart from the obvious need of sustenance to survive, love comes at the top of a baby’s needs, and that continues right through childhood into the teenage years. Most teenagers would not admit it; most young children struggle to express it; and babies cannot express it. But, children of any age need love.

Something else that is needed throughout a child’s upbringing is discipline; a sensible level of discipline from which the child will benefit throughout their adult lives. The application of discipline can seem to become more difficult as a child gets older, in direct proportion to the child’s ability to express themselves assertively. In reality, though, applying discipline to a baby can be every bit as difficult, because it is a much more subtle and less obvious process.

A teenager ignoring your 10pm curfew is a blatant discipline problem. To some, a one year old baby crying because they are being taken from their toys to have a bath and go to bed, is not even about discipline, and they may not think of it as such. They love the baby, want it to be happy and, despite knowing that the baby should sleep, feel pity and put her back with her toys.

Does a Baby Need Discipline?

Discipline with a child is usually about testing boundaries; the boundaries of what they are allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do. If they do not like the answer, they protest and test again; and again. If the boundary they are trying to break gives way easily, it encourages them to go back and do it again.

If the boundary holds firm, with a consistent parent being calmly unbending, then the baby or infant will give up…..eventually. Patience and consistency are vital to the discipline, otherwise the baby will become confused; they will not learn what is acceptable and what is not, if one day you give into their protests, and on another day you do not.

In the example above, the baby has successfully used tears to get their way against the parent’s better judgement. Bath and bed time have been delayed, with a two fold result. Firstly, she will not sleep at the time that is best for her, and she will become crotchety and over tired, and cry even louder with the next attempt to put her to bed. Secondly, her success at preventing the bath will bolster her for next time; she has learnt that yelling will get her own way.

About a decade ago, while I still lived in the UK, there was a study into teenagers, to find out what it was they most needed to make their lives happier and better. More than half said they really wanted more discipline; yes, “wanted”.   (continued...)

Bringing Up A Baby – Balancing Discipline And Love
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About The Author

This baby care http://www.bouncing-new-baby.com/Baby_Care.htm article was written by Roy Thomsitt, owner author of the Bouncing New Baby website. He is also responsible for the Baby Blog http://feeds.feedburner.com/bouncing-new-baby/RVnf.